Welcome to my blog. Read it. Don't. Up to you. Blog posts are going to take the form of letters to people who need to...pull their heads out of their asses. So, I suppose if you are someone who needs to pull your head out of your ass, read on. Or, if you find you agree that some people need to pull their head out of their ass and you want to be amused, read on. But if you are someone who's head is firmly entrenched up your ass, and you really don't care, or worse, if you actually LIKE it there, well...you might want to move on. Nothing to see here for you.
What makes me an expert? What gives me the authority to tell you to pull your head out of your ass? I live on the same planet with you. That's it. That's what makes me an expert and gives me the authority. I am simply voicing what most people who know you are thinking but are too polite to say out loud. Or they are worried about hurting your feelings. Or they just don't feel that telling you that you have your head up your ass is worth their time. Those last ones are probably the worst. Because they don't think you have the ability to become more than an asshat. I, on the other hand, maintain hope that you are not, in fact, intentionally an asshat, but merely an uninformed individual, a sheep in the giant flock called humanity. I believe you have the ability to transcend your ignorance, to grow as a human being, to become more than a lesser life form.
Have I offended you yet? Keep reading. If I haven't yet, I'm sure I will at some point. In fact, I am positive that at one point or another, this blog will offend every single person who reads it. It's not really my intention to offend you. Offense is the first line of defense, though. Offense is what people use when something has a ring of truth that they are afraid of. So my intention is to be truthful, but not offensive. So my first piece of advice for reading this blog is get over yourself. I am not talking to YOU <insert name here>. If what I write about applies to you, then consider this (preferably before leaving ugly comments)...is it true? If it's true, and you offended by a truth about yourself, leaving mean comments on my blog won't change anything. I mean, I have the power of delete. Or ignore. I'm pretty hard to offend. So one of us will look like a screaming mimi...the other may look like an asshole. I can accept being the asshole if it means that even a single person who reads pulls their head out of their ass.
So, reader, thank you for reading. Oh...and can you please pull your head out of your ass?
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